I’ve been feeling different. The person I was a month back is so far and back from where I am sitting and writing this down. Just like an old soul, music playing in the background and be venting or articulating my thoughts as I type this.
My music varies, all over the place. I think that is what my life is. All over the place. I have a song written for it too. Things have a funny way of taking their time when you're running behind them. So I've let go of all the exception and I'm fully free to live the life I have dreamed of.
Because I understand myself more and more every day. Some parts of me are pretty damn damaged where I'm working on and some areas are so fucking elegant. It’s a delight to watch myself inflow. Yes, I am a walking contradiction.
I have been blessed and there are some amazing people I have surrounded myself and I'm more than happy to spend some time with myself. Which was not the case some years back. I was just playing and fucking through my days. I was diagnosed with TB in 2015 and it was bad. I had a lot of time in retrospect to think about my “emotional baggage-s.” yes plural. There’s a lot going on. My ex-girl trying to get back at me by sleeping with my friend is the least of my concern.
My trauma as a child trumps it all. Or it used to. because I'm decently over some major things from the past. So, I'm content in my thoughts and grateful for my approaches. I thank whoever has known me for the longest and still decided to stick around. You all are in good thoughts. The ones who are gone, I don't think bout you at all, but be good. to you.
I know I still make mistakes and have a different outlook on most things but it’s alright. It is our differences and how we learn to understand and accept that is what makes us human.
I'm Better now. Just breath.
Also, Whoever called it emotional baggage and not griefcase?